Jealousy always gets the better of me…..

So this week I’m beginning to break! I met up with a friend for dinner this week and she showed up in the most amazing grey textured jacket from top shop I was so jealous I almost walked out of giraffe and went home to cry! I couldn’t believe she wore such a beautiful jacket when she knows how hard I’m finding this challenge! And she wore it with a scarf that totally took all the attention from the inverted collar it was awful and I knew that jacket was going to die in the back of her wardrobe pretty soon like most of the cool stuff she buys and there was probably nothing I could do about it because we are different sizes! 😦 ….. I still haven’t bought anything brand new … but I have almost, sort of, kinda, nearly…. in a way cheated? I think? Well basically on one of my many wonders I came across river island and slipped in… as you do! And while torturing myself with a walk around I found a perfect ‘me’ sweater! It was seriously so me!!!! I knew there and then I had to have it! I couldn’t buy it I couldn’t own it brand new I needed someone to own it and miraculously no longer require it and offer it to me ….. but how? It would be breaking the challenge to buy it under any circumstance so I had to convince Someone else to do it… who? Well I had the perfect victim in mind! I have this ‘friend’ who thinks I’m pretty cool (most of the time) so I send her the snap with “you would look great in this” via iMessage…. wait a few days…. and of course she totally buys the sweater! Sends me a photo of it and says “I hope ur right I’m wearing to the movies with *^%# later” and my plan goes so well and as predicted I whine and whine about how I wish it was mine and she gives it to me after wearing it only a few times…. is this cheating? Is this how I’m going to get all my clothes now? I feel disgusting and a total cheat! Also my ‘friend’ totally knew my game and said I should cut the sweater up! 😦 I’m a brat through and through! I need help!

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Temptation to buy unnecessary shit is back…..

It could be that I’m ill…. it could be that I’m celebrating getting a new job…… could be that I’m just getting back to me……weirdo, spendaholic crazy lady me! But lately I have had an uncomfortable urge to pull out the store cards and splurge on some unnecessary crap! I convinced myself Lena needed a light up colour changing wall clock and I should buy a shelve for it to go on and a completely different light shade for the room to Match the clock …. then I smacked myself across the face and had a firm word and reminded myself this is exactly the kind of stuff that has got me into the mess I currently find myself in! I’m prob just bored and craving a new ‘thing’ I love new stuff! I’m 40days in 325 to go…. no new stuff! I need to stay strong! I’m going to break soon tho this is really really hard! 😦 😦 it’s half term so I’m prob going to stay in (when I’m not working) to save myself the risk of spending!

It’s all starting to get too much :(

They say bad things come in 3s well I’ve had my 3 plus 3 plus 2 and I’m waiting to see what’s next! Sometimes I feel like my entire life it’s bad luck! I’m not every lucky and when I look around pretty much everyone is doing really well and I’m stuck scuffling along a uphill climb! So my car broke Friday… of course the wonderful Tiffany helped with the school run the college drop off the tear wiping and general counciling I required for the trauma it caused but along with it my daughter broke and became a loon who physically abused me at one point in anger!! And I was landed with a massive bill I had forgotten all about when I changed my card details in September!!! I’ve also had a horrendous time at work lately and now I’m up for a review 20days earlier than planned and I’m (too be frank) shitting myself! I already know how this will turn out and I’m dreading it! But I haven’t spent any money on anything other than food and for that I’m happy and I still have a holiday booked…. and I need to just look forward to that!!!! Now to get rid of my daughter to brownies for a hour and a half…..

Day 18…. a thankyou letter to Tiffany…

It’s day 18 and behind my huge smile I’m having a shitty time! (Here comes the sob story) my fav bunny rabbit pjs have a hole in and I’m lacking in good black socks, I have all of 3 good outfits, too many pairs of shoes and this challenge sucks because all I want to do is shop and cheer the fuck up! I love those bunny pjs I can’t believe they have a hole in… with 347 days until I can buy more bunny pjs I’m just about ready to give up and buy a boat! ….But I have a nice friend that goes by the name Tiffany and together we just booked a holiday for us and the brat pack for Easter break and so finally I have something to look forward to! And actually when I’m in a shit mood she cheers me up with earl grey tea and home cooked food while our kids fight it out amongst themselves else where while we chat blissfully about parenting and school run hell! And actually life’s not to bad! I’m starting to feel the real pull of this challenge now and the real stress of what I’m really giving up! It’s only been 18 days I can’t believe I still have over 300 to go! Meh I don’t even want to think about it! I really don’t! But to Tiffany thanks! Your a good friend to have when I’m pulling out my hair and I’m really excited to go on holiday and see if we are still friends after you realise I’m a top nutter with a smaller nutter for a child! This year is going to suck! But it’s so nice to know I will be able to rant here moan at my only friend tiff and in reality this year I’m learning so much more than how to stop spending money but I’m also learning how to get back to me again and I love that! So far I’ve shed more than the store cards and gained more than £££ And I hope it keeps getting better as it gets harder…. if that makes sense! 🙂

Day 9! Faced my first hiccup…

It’s only been 9 days! As I was typing out the title I realised wow it’s only been 9 days…. my first thought was it feels much longer! My second thought how will I keep track of the days after January my math is good but not great I’m going by the date so far! So far I’m finding it easy I have been very tempted to buy things and I have found myself almost actually buying things but I haven’t bought anything at all yet! But like I said it’s only been 9 days. Lena has quit already and spend £27 of her Christmas money of ridiculous junk at Tesco and I tried so hard to stop her but I have terrible ear pain (another story) and did not have the energy to explain how I really didn’t want us doing that this year bla bla so I just let her! Not my money I guess and she’s 8 so what do I expect! I attended a funeral and although I own a tone of black clothes I really struggled to find something appropriate to wear and I almost reached for the store cards in desperation but thankfully I remembered I still had a bag of things to return to next (from my dec 29th binge buy) and I knew in there was a horrendous black shirt that actually fitted me really well so I threw it on and bam the perfect funeral outfit sorted! No money spent! No rules of my new challenge broken! No dull faced trips to the charity shop! Wooohoo first hurdle complete!!

Nothing to report

So we are on day 4 of my 365 day ‘no new’ challenge and I’m going to be honest…. I have nothing to report… I’ve been busy with my daughter being ill and been at work! Things that I ordered before my challenge began have arrived so I’m pretty content! So far so good!

Day one done, Day two uhhhh

So day one of my challenge was easy….. I spent 13 hours of it at work! And the only purchase I made all day was 4pints of milk! However day two will definitely prove to be more challenging!! Firstly Lena has to go to hospital today to have blood taken, this means crying and potential bribery! Secondly the children’s hospital is in town the shopping Mecca for the spendaholic me! Must stay strong, must stay strong,